It is the morning of christmas eve and also, coincidentally, the Nightmare before Christmas. So many things have happened lately so much so I've lost faith in the biggest season of the year. Christmas, in my opinion, was supposed to be a light-hearted albeit solemn affair where friends and family gathered around the christmas tree which would be so lavishly decorated with colorful electric lights and adorned with the brightest gold-plated hexagonal star to commemorate the birth of Christ and to praise and give thanks to the Lord for the miracle incarnation of Jesus Christ, the son of God. Following the celebratory mood, a feast fit for the King (literally) comprising of the traditional ham and stuffed turkey would be spread across the rich mahogany which would also magically accomodate the exact number of people present. Spirits would soar as with the clanking of wine glasses, bottles and bottles of Manoir du Chardon and sparkling apple juice (for the kids) be opened until every drop has trickled down the guests' throats. Drunkedness would not be permitted in such an innocent family gathering so tea would be served on the most quaint of china sets to sober the men up, and to refresh everyone to last till dawn. When the merry-making and deep caustic laughter and sharp shrills of burst of happiness die down, cake would be served and everyone would sit al fresco (we are imagining a mansion here) and enjoy the christmas breeze. Small talk and light chatter would fill the air while kids eye the boxes of nicely and painstakingly wrapped presents under the christmas tree. Their weak and feeble attempts to pretend to walk in close distance of the tree to glide their chocolated mousse stained hands along the glittery wrappers and silver ribbons would be discontinued by their stern mothers who would be watching closely by while engaging in chats with their friends and relatives who never ran out of topics to talk about. Of course when the time comes - the long awaited moment where children would finger their presents with glee and non-hesitatingly rip apart the expensive wrappers and let out peals of joyful giggles when they see Optimus Prime or Princess Barbie by Disney who are made of plastic, a fact which kids will never realise. The adults would stand around, holding the stems of wine glasses yet again and pat their children's sweaty heads and smile upon them who have seemed to struck gold. No doubt the children would be made to say their thank-you's profusely to their present-givers, or money-spenders before running off to compare their presents with the others.

Christmas was supposed to have the dominant elements of joy and thanksgiving and love, but sadly as the devil and the world takes over, people start to lose their initial sentiments of christmas; the cause for celebration has been thwarted and overshadowed by the shallow minds of the people who are only capable of considering skin-deep matters. The ultimate reason for christmas has been swallowed and lost, misplaced and forgotten.

Yet as I say these things with a heavy heart, I know the Joy of christmas still lives in me. Despite the folly of the world, there is still hope in years to come, for the Hope of the world will return glorious and triumphant.

It's been 2days since I came back from Thailand,
but waking up on my comfortable bed, to the sound of my own breathing still makes my heart sink.
It's been the best 16 days of my life and it's impossible to summarise everything in this tiny little space, but I know I'll remember it for the rest of my life.




I miss walking down the sandy paths, where slippers of every possible colour could turn brown.
I miss peeling turnips and throwing their skin on the floors.
I miss fumbling with my torch at night, shivering in the cold, but with someone on either side of me.
I miss sitting by the campfire, I miss its warmth.
I miss eating arroi food, drenched with oil, pork seasoning and salt.
I miss being one hour behind everything.
I miss laughing so hard my stomach cramps up.
I miss lying so close together we overlap each other.
I miss having children run up and hug you, as if you were their best friend in the world.
I miss having a hand to hold, whenever I slip and fall.
I miss waking up to the sound of animals and laughter.
I miss gathering together, laughing, singing and talking, as if there was nothing else we needed to do.
I miss looking around and seeing genuine smiles all around.
I miss Thailand.






Paolo, the first guy to ever steal my heart and empty out my tear glands :(









Top and Paolo, my two favourite heroes <3



Sabai-ing in Nurn Saduak.


Village hut mate and bogus husband for 6 days.


Angie and Pun- On the van, with our dusty hair.


Singing in the village.


Man- super adorable little boy.



Sentosa!


The best team in the world.

While this trip has ended, it has left behind countless valuable memories,
and many lessons learnt.
And the best thing we left behind was probably the water supply in nurn saduak, and joy to the villagers.
If I could, I would do it again in a heartbeat,
to live on wooden floorboards over concrete cold floors.
My biggest dream right now, is to someday return there...







...To the place, where I experienced the happiest and saddest moments of my life.

It's christmas tomorrow,
hopefully we had brought an early christmas to Nurn Saduak.
Happy christmas Paolo!
I hope you're doing well over there.
Continue to be a good boy and grow up to be a good person like your father, Pi Ar-mer.
Look at the woodcraft and remember me, hongyi and shuting k.
Kao jai mai?
I'll never forget you.
With love, Pi Ling.



Shuting, Paolo, Kun-nah Nabu, Pi Armer, Me.
Hongyi was somewhere in the middle of a traditional dance.

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Hope you still like navy blue, Winnie. :x And sorry no photo for you because I realise I don't have any pictures of you! >:


End of birthday post. Will post about meeting Jay Chou later/tomorrow when I have time. XDv

Nearly 3 more hours to Aibaka's birthday! 8DDDD

 When nobody's in a good mood = The brother and I spam Red alert 3, with the sounds blasting through the whole house (when there's only both of us at home lolll)
._. 

I spent close to two hours in the cenacle today. I felt like staying there till everything's back to normal because it was so peaceful. I still can't concentrate.

i really really like these two covers. makes me happy

I don't really know what I can do. Maybe it's because there's nothing I can do.

I can't seem to concentrate on studying. I don't like uncertainties but I don't want to know what will happen either. 
I'm such a loser -_-

Put up a brave front
Put up a brave front
Put up a brave front

Okay life goes on shall burry my head in books now

Life these few days has been pretty mundane... I've been studying so it revolves mainly around books and notes and tutorials. My nose has been super annoying since thursday. Simply puttttt, life's just not as awesome anymore. :( I just came home from Joylynn's xmas party. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be because the people there were friendly. I know like a million more fairsians now lol. I took pictures with random new friends hahahah shall wait for Audrey to upload them on facebook!



Lesbians for life, Rachel hahahahhaha! Next Sundayyyyyy come quickly! (L)
Back to the books for now. 

EDIT: I just remembered something. I WANT TO START LEARNING HOW TO PLAY THE DAMN PIANO AGAIN. I spent one and half hour at Joylynn's place playing the piano learning canon in d and the "so do re mi fa so do do" song BUT I FAIL. I am sad. After all I hold a Grade 2 piano cert, why do I fail!!!! D:

THANK YOU ZINC FOR PAINTING MY TOENAILS HAHAHAHAHA I CANT STOP LAUGHING WHENEVER I THINK ABOUT IT.

oh love, dont let me go (wont you take me where the streetlights glow)

when will we really understand that writing is not just an outsource of emotions - not an outpatient clinic or a pharmacy which dispenses cocktails of red white green and black pills - but rather a channel we travel through to remember, where we force ourselves to travel back in time to when we were young reckless and impossibly clueless about life. i would write for a living, if i could document every single thought and feeling (they are different - you will soon realise this if you haven't already) right from my very first cry. then again i'm not so sure if i want to remember everything. i think back sometimes and the pain is still there. it is incredible! - time has not healed this wound or wounds on a lighter note i have so much to do i better start channeling my energy to more productive stuff.

let go. move on.

i feel like cinderella.
cos after 17 days im a princess no more.
hahahahahaha

I KNOW I HAVEN'T POSTED IN THE LONGEST WHILE SO HERE GOES.

( Holiday Happenings  )

Never want this to end.

FIONA ADD ME ON LJ!

And some news thanks to MS China for those who do not know yet : http://blog.plurk.com/2009/12/14/microsoft-rips-plurk/

okayokayokayokay my life is wayyyyyyy awesome you have no idea how awesome it is i'm going to post tomorrow after i've studied enough time to turn in now goodnight love ones xx

PS: IT IS REALLY THAT AWESOME. Holidays have never been so fun.